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Post by mmthrax on Jun 14, 2019 12:31:15 GMT -7
A man goes into the ZOO, and the only animal there is a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 14, 2019 13:01:47 GMT -7
A man goes into the ZOO, and the only animal there is a dog. It was a shih tzu. sSig_youtheman_zpsb3e30900 |
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Post by stitchdup on Jun 15, 2019 16:00:46 GMT -7
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Post by stitchdup on Jun 15, 2019 16:01:16 GMT -7
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Post by stitchdup on Jun 15, 2019 16:02:04 GMT -7
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Post by stitchdup on Jun 15, 2019 16:02:31 GMT -7
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Post by Deano on Jun 15, 2019 16:49:46 GMT -7
Gold gold gold!!!!! rolling rolling rolling
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Post by mmthrax on Jun 15, 2019 17:35:14 GMT -7
Those are great Les.  |
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Post by stitchdup on Jun 18, 2019 21:20:40 GMT -7
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Post by DeeCee on Jun 19, 2019 0:48:26 GMT -7
There's some great ones up there Les, very funny... rolling
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Post by leon on Jun 19, 2019 2:52:24 GMT -7
Those are really great Les! rolling
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Post by stitchdup on Jun 26, 2019 17:32:08 GMT -7
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Post by DeeCee on Jun 27, 2019 2:17:29 GMT -7
rolling PERFECT...
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Post by stitchdup on Jun 28, 2019 21:09:58 GMT -7
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Post by leon on Jun 29, 2019 3:43:48 GMT -7
rolling
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Post by mmthrax on Jul 1, 2019 6:56:41 GMT -7
That made my day Les.
rolling
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Post by DeeCee on Jul 8, 2019 1:25:05 GMT -7
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Post by DeeCee on Jul 8, 2019 1:25:37 GMT -7
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Post by stitchdup on Jul 8, 2019 2:13:38 GMT -7
I think little jonny is my new hero
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Post by stitchdup on Jul 8, 2019 2:19:27 GMT -7
I think our local judge may be having an off day. He just sentanced a homeless guy to 3 months on a tag. A tag is one of those ankle boxes that they use to make sure they dont leave their home between certain times
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Post by DeeCee on Jul 8, 2019 2:31:20 GMT -7
rolling Not a very bright Judge then is he..
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Post by leon on Jul 8, 2019 2:35:33 GMT -7
rolling
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Post by DeeCee on Jul 11, 2019 6:05:06 GMT -7
For those on the "thinning side "..  |
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Post by moramarth on Jul 11, 2019 6:18:52 GMT -7
Or as the mug on my desk used to claim: "That's not a Chrome Dome, it's a Solar Panel for a sex machine..."
Cheers,
M
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Post by mmthrax on Jul 16, 2019 6:51:21 GMT -7
Saw Richard Harris tell this joke on Merv Griffin back in the 80's.
He had the joke set in Ireland, not that it matters.
A young man goes to the priest and says he has had sex.
The priest says "Who was it?"
"I can't tell you father."
"You have to tell me who is was, laddie."
"I can't tell you father."
"You must tell me."
"I just can't do it father. It wouldn't be right to reveal her name. I can't do it."
"Was is Mary Donaghe?"
"No father."
"Was is Ann Mulaney?"
"No father."
"Was is Mary Spence?"
"No father."
"You are going to tell me are you?"
"I can't do it father."
So he gives him three Hail Marys, three Our Fathers, and sends him on his way.
The guys exits the church and meets his pal outside.
"How did it go?" he asks.
"Terrific, and I got the names of three certainties!"
Gotta love Richard Harris.
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Post by DeeCee on Jul 17, 2019 4:36:44 GMT -7
rolling
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Post by DeeCee on Jul 20, 2019 2:56:30 GMT -7
I'm posting this with a heavy heart...😔 As much as I love working on real cars, and building model cars , it takes up too much of my time and I am struggling to keep up with the everyday basics such as cleaning and helping with my home, so something has to give. I will be parting out pretty much everything. Below is a list of what's available. Serious inquiries only please and don't insult me with your offers. Thanks for reading and understanding... 1. Dustpan and brush 2. Sponges 3. Dusters 4. Mop and bucket 5. Window cleaner 6. Vacuum 7. Dish washing liquid 8. Laundry detergent 9. Fabric softener 10. Laundry baskets 11. Toilet brush 12. Cleaning sprays 13. Scrubbing brushes Inbox if interested..  |
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Post by Deano on Jul 20, 2019 13:42:16 GMT -7
That's GOLD!!!!!! My son and I laughed and laughed, the wife not so much!
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Post by DeeCee on Jul 21, 2019 0:43:54 GMT -7
Joe gets bad headaches.
The doctor said,
“Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.
You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on a nerve at the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.
The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital a few days later, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself...
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought,
'That's what I need... A new suit...'
He entered the shop and told the salesman,
'I'd like to try on a new suit please...'
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said,
'Let's see now... Size 44 long should do it'
Joe laughed, 'Wow, that's right; how did you know?'
'Oh, I've been in the business 40 years sir!' the tailor said.
Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked,
'How about a new shirt to go with that lovely suit sir?'
Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure, why not.'
The salesman eyed Joe for a moment and said,
'Let's see, 34 sleeve and 16 1/2 neck.'
Joe was surprised again,
'You're absolutely right, how did you guess that?'
'Been in the business 40 years sir.'
Joe tried on the shirt and it fit like a glove!
Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked,
'How about some new underwear?'
Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure, I might as well.'
The salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36.'
Joe laughed,
'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'
The salesman shook his head,
'No way! You can't wear a size 34 sir. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache!!'😂
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Post by stitchdup on Jul 21, 2019 1:24:30 GMT -7
rolling
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